Thursday, January 31, 2013

F is for Facebook

I love Facebook.  If that makes me pedestrian or uncool or whatever, fine.  I own it.  I've got everyone from my sister to my mother-in-law to my sorority sisters on there.  Need a quick answer?  Facebook.  Need something funny or stupid or just inappropriate enough to make you snort?  Facebook.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

E is for Energy


en·er·gy  

/ˈenərjē/
Noun
  1. The strength and vitality required for sustained physical or mental activity.
  2. A feeling of possessing such strength and vitality.
Synonyms
power - vigour - vigor - vim - zip - strength - pep


Google "energy definition" and that's what you get.  Last night our parent teacher group held its annual carnival and energy is what we had. The carnival, held during Catholic Schools Week, is a way to celebrate the energy of our families and raise money to sustain that energy.  It take a lot of volunteer energy to make it happen and, while I always wish there were more people willing and able to put out the time to really make things soar, I appreciate those who do.  I help, but I'm more of a worker bee-  great at being told what to do, but easily overwhelmed by the organizational details.  I'll gladly be room parent and line up workers, help at the book fair, help sort prizes, etc., but the ones who fit the pieces together are my heroes. 

I should give god and Mother Nature a little shout out here.  Monday was a snow (actually ice) day and today is snowy and windy with many schools around us canceling or delaying classes.  Last night, though, was quite decent and the carnival didn't falter under weather fears.  Many many prayers were answered:). 

Monday, January 28, 2013

D is for Dog

I love our dog, Oliver.  He is a black and tan purebred Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and pretty much the dog I'd dreamed of having for about 10 years- ever since I'd seen a picture of some CKCS and their cute little puppy faces.   We got Oliver not from a breeder, but the animal shelter.  I will just say it was fate.

It was about a year ago in early January.  His owner had to surrender him to the animal shelter because she had cancer and wasn't able to take care of him.  I had contemplated getting a dog for quite a while, but my husband was, ahem, less than excited.  Our local paper posts a picture of an available shelter dog every day and I'd seen a shih tzu cross that looked like the type of dog that would fit in our house.  After helping the girls' class at school, I had about an hour to kill so I thought I'd stop in and see what the procedure was and what dogs they had.  I'd never even set foot in the place before and I'm still not sure why I picked the animal shelter instead heading to my usual spot, Target.

When I got to the shelter, I explained that we had 4 small kids, were thinking about a dog, and needed one that was small and kid friendly.  I mentioned the shih tzu, but the young man at the desk said that an application for adoption had already been made.  Then he said, "We just got a new dog in today.  He's still in the vet room.  It's a young spaniel, if you want to take a look." He stopped to look at some papers.  "It's a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel."

My heart jumped.  I didn't want to seem too eager, but I'd been in love with the breed for years, ever since seeing them on the Westminster Kennel Club dog show.  Over the years, I'd read about them and how they were loving, great with kids, very sociable, snuggly, and basically everything I wanted in a dog.  I'd looked at breeders, but they're definitely not cheap dogs and I was leery of puppy mills.  I'm a firm believer in rescue dogs and felt that a dog from the animal shelter would be a better choice so a purebred CKCS seemed like it would remain just a wish.

"Sure, I'll take a look at him," I said.  As soon as I saw him, I began thinking of how I was going to convince my husband.  Oliver was *sweet*.  He came over, licked my hand, gave me the big puppy eyes, and I was done.  I petted him, held him in my lap, texted a picture to my husband, then made the call.  It went something like:
Me: I think I found a dog
Husband:  We don't need a dog
Me:  I know, but he's perfect.  He's a Cavalier. (Husband is very familiar with my love of these)
Husband:  We still don't need a dog.
Me:  <pause>  I'm bring him home.

I filled out the form, including 3 references, and by the time I'd gotten back over to school to pick up #2 (#3 was home sick that day), the shelter had called and said that my application had been approved.   #2 and I stopped at Target (see, I ended up there anyway!) and I headed to the pet aisle to get supplies.  #2 was fairly confused about why we would be buying dog food until she realized we were really getting a dog! 

We picked up Oliver and headed home.  His sojourn at the shelter had lasted just 2 hours between the time he was dropped off and when he came home with us.  On the way home, I mentally prepared for the second hurdle- my mom.  She lives with us, helps with the kids, and has never been a huge fan of animals in the house.  So here I come with a house dog.  Surprise!

Fortunately she didn't pack up and leave:)  Oliver charmed her, as well as #3 and #4, and #1 could barely believe we had a dog even when he sat on the couch.

Long story slightly less long:  getting a dog past the puppy stage is fantastic.  He was basically house-trained, walks well on a leash, and has no really annoying habits other than barking at any and all dogs (including cartoon ones) or anything that looks like a dog on TV.  He's "Mom's dog".  Dad tolerates him, the kids love him although he's a little wary of them, but he worships me.  He sits outside my bedroom door waiting for the chance to slip in, lies under my desk, and would ride anywhere in the truck with me.  Basically, he follows me around like a puppy dog.  He makes it impossible to not talk to people when I have him with me.  He loves going to pickup at school and getting petted by all the kids' friends, although they do have one little friend from Korea who thinks of dogs like we'd think of a pet rat or snake.  She's warming up a bit, but I do wish I had a picture of the look on her face when Oliver licked #3!

 So here's my PSA for the day:  Don't think you can't find your perfect dog at a shelter :)

This was the picture I texted my husband.  Seriously, who could resist this face??

Sunday, January 27, 2013

C for Catholic

I grew up Catholic and have always maintained a "Catholic identity" even during a period of poor Mass attendance in college.  My husband also came from a strong Catholic family, our kids now go to Catholic school, and we attend Mass weekly.  One of my favorite parts of the week is going to Mass with the kids at school.

That being said, I'm probably what many would call a "bad Catholic".  We've used birth control.  I don't think people who are gay are "gravely disordered" and I do think they should have a right to be married in the eyes of the law.  Abortion is more difficult for me to wrap my head around.  I don't think making it illegal will make it go away, but I think it needs to be backed by "medical need" and not a form of birth control.  We, as a society, do a very poor job at teaching people about their bodies, about sex, about reproduction and that starts the domino effect of negatives attached to sex, included unwanted pregnancy.  We need to teach everyone about their bodies, how their brains and hormones influence their actions, encourage learning how to respect and be committed before sex.  I think that's part of "loving thy neighbor as thyself" and not being more obedient to the letter of the law than to the spirit of the law.

So I struggle.  I struggle to live my faith and show my non-Catholic friends why I stay in the Church even when its positions are contrary to my own.  I struggle to find a way to fit my beliefs into the framework of the Church and, most importantly to find a way to be true to God, Jesus, my family, myself.  Every time I hear a homily about taking up our cross and following Jesus, I know I don't do enough.  I could give more time and money, but I'm scared that it will stretch  me beyond my comfort zone.  That's actually the point of sacrifice, but I don't want it to be about me.  I don't want to feel "put out" by doing it.  I want it to feel like it's a calling.  I think I'll get there eventually, but for now, I'll keep slogging along and watch for my opportunity.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

B is for Balance

B is for Balance

How do you know when a child is ready to try something new?  A new activity, night away from home, riding their bike out of your sight?

Where's the happy medium between "helicopter parent" and "neglectful parent"?

When do you intervene and when do you let the chips fall where they may?

What's "the line" that you don't let them cross without comment?  When does sassy turn into disrespectful?

So this is where the 180° mama really comes out.  I want my kids to be kids others want to be around.  I want them to be smart, capable, friendly, kind.  They usually are, but when they are clingy, whiny, yelly, and sassy (the 4 dwarves that didn't make the cut!), I feel at a loss.  How many times can you say, "Quiet voice in the house, please" before you either give up or get out the duct tape?

Friday, January 25, 2013

A is for Authentic

One thought I had was "blogging by the alphabet".  Each day, I'd pick a word that started with the letter of the day and go from there.  I figured this might keep my brain a little sharper and my posts more interesting than "waking up to pee on the floor sucks, as does kindergarten drama."  So I'm going to give it a shot.  I might not make it every day, but we'll see what happens.

A is for Authentic

The way the word "authentic" is used today is grating.   The NY Times had a great piece on it a year or so ago.  It's gone from meaning "real" or "original" to meaning "styled for public approval".  It smacks of "I make my own ketchup out of organic tomatoes that I grow next to my organic potatoes from which I make baked french fries.  Woe unto you who feed their children Happy Meals for they will be stunted by your lack of authentic cuisine."

I thought I'd go more than one post before I outed myself as a "bad Mom".  Guess not.

Yes, my kids eat McDonald's on a regular basis. Turn your nose up at me if you want, but sometimes it just fits the "quick and they'll eat it" bill.  Other times, it's a chance to get out of the house or a place for #4 and me to get some lunch and play (her on the climbing stuff and slides and me on free Wi-Fi) between story time and picking up #1-3 on early out days.  Do I sound a little defensive?  Maybe, even though I don't think, for the most part, I should be.  However, admitting that you *gasp* like McDonald's to certain people will get you the same look as if you just admitted to having herpes.  The "Oh, dear, look where your poor choices have gotten you."

But I don't think being authentic should bind you to being an arse about things.  There's so much grey area in life.  There's a time for 5 star dining and also for Happy Meals. 





Thursday, January 24, 2013

180° Mama

Why 180° Mama?

Because I'm really hot?  Ha!  Not unless sweating counts.  It's because I spend most of my time trying to corral four kids and I've realized that they, and I, can swing about 180 degrees from one minute to the next.

Would I love to pretend that parenting is all pure awesomeness, peace, and those Madonna and Child moments?  Sure, but I'm trying to teach the kids that lying isn't generally the best idea.  Parenting tends to be more like "early to bed, early to rise" when I'd rather do the opposite.  It's Disney Channel instead of HBO.  Candyland (where no one gets booted back to the gingerbread guy or candy cane) instead of Game of Thrones.

180° Mama is the mom you become when you discover your 6 year old wrote with pink gel pen on the leather car seat.  It's when you realize what she wrote is, "I love Mom".  With a heart.  It's discovering that hand sanitizer will take out 98% of the mark, but still leave a little bit to remind you that, while it would have been nice if she'd have stuck to paper, it could have been a lot worse.

It's wanting to sell them on Ebay just to get 5 minutes of peace and quiet, but not knowing what you'd do without them... or what you'd do with 5 minutes of peace and quiet.