I grew up Catholic and have always maintained a "Catholic identity" even during a period of poor Mass attendance in college. My husband also came from a strong Catholic family, our kids now go to Catholic school, and we attend Mass weekly. One of my favorite parts of the week is going to Mass with the kids at school.
That being said, I'm probably what many would call a "bad Catholic". We've used birth control. I don't think people who are gay are "gravely disordered" and I do think they should have a right to be married in the eyes of the law. Abortion is more difficult for me to wrap my head around. I don't think making it illegal will make it go away, but I think it needs to be backed by "medical need" and not a form of birth control. We, as a society, do a very poor job at teaching people about their bodies, about sex, about reproduction and that starts the domino effect of negatives attached to sex, included unwanted pregnancy. We need to teach everyone about their bodies, how their brains and hormones influence their actions, encourage learning how to respect and be committed before sex. I think that's part of "loving thy neighbor as thyself" and not being more obedient to the letter of the law than to the spirit of the law.
So I struggle. I struggle to live my faith and show my non-Catholic friends why I stay in the Church even when its positions are contrary to my own. I struggle to find a way to fit my beliefs into the framework of the Church and, most importantly to find a way to be true to God, Jesus, my family, myself. Every time I hear a homily about taking up our cross and following Jesus, I know I don't do enough. I could give more time and money, but I'm scared that it will stretch me beyond my comfort zone. That's actually the point of sacrifice, but I don't want it to be about me. I don't want to feel "put out" by doing it. I want it to feel like it's a calling. I think I'll get there eventually, but for now, I'll keep slogging along and watch for my opportunity.
No comments:
Post a Comment